


Never Change

by the_moonmoth



Category: Star Trek (2009)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-20
Updated: 2010-01-20
Packaged: 2017-10-12 15:46:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/126513
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_moonmoth/pseuds/the_moonmoth
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the prompt <i>Spock and Spock - never change.</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Change

**Author's Note:**

  * For [archaeologist_d](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=archaeologist_d).



Spock does not find it easy to think of the Ambassador as an older version of himself. He is unlike any Vulcan in Spock's acquaintance, and it is discomfiting to him to have the Universe extrapolate himself forward to provide him with that – an individual who seems less a Vulcan than a man who has turned his back on the teachings of Surak.

"Oh, not entirely," is all the Ambassador says when Spock asks him this directly. Spock leaves the conversation distinctly unsatisfied.

*

The Ambassador had suggested that Spock do what felt right. The last time Spock had followed an emotional impulse since his childhood, it had almost resulted in the death of a man. This does not seem like satisfactory data on which to base his decision.

He sees a lot of Kirk around campus in the days following the destruction of the Narada. He attempts to keep his distance. Three weeks later, when he realizes that lunch break chess matches are now a regular feature of his day, he can't seem to place why he was unsuccessful in that endeavor.

"Have you made your decision yet?" the Ambassador asks him one evening, as they pass in the corridors.

"I am still considering the options," Spock replies tightly. It disturbs him the way the old Vulcan's eyes shine in unsuppressed amusement.

*

Once the Enterprise leaves spacedock, Spock does not stay in contact with his alternate self. He abides strictly by the tenets Surak laid out for the wellbeing of all Vulcans. This remains true even when, several months later, he enters into a more intimate relationship with Kirk, a fact in which he takes a great deal of satisfaction.

*

His room is dark. Oil from his meditation lamp is spattered across the deck plating, the scent rising up to taunt him. The dark shape of his overturned chair looms in one corner of the room, the panel it collided with spitting out intermittent sparks. Spock sits on the edge of his bed, hands fisted into the sheets, and stares ahead into nothing.

Jim is dying; there is nothing he can do.

Later, he will not be able to trace the logic that led him to rise and go to his terminal, turn it on and open a connection to New Vulcan.

The Ambassador is sitting in a brightly lit room, sunlight streaming in. It makes Spock's eyes ache.

"Greetings, Spock. You are well?" he asks.

Spock looks down, away from the bright screen.

"Jim is in surgery," he says quietly. "His chances of survival are fifteen point three zero nine percent."

"You are afraid." It is not a question – he is talking to the only one who could possibly understand.

"I have already lost so much," he says, attempting to regulate his breathing. "The fear that I will once again lose that which is most precious to me is unbearable."

The Ambassador nods, eyes solemn. "The relinquishing of logic for emotion does not come without risks. The question is, do the benefits outweigh them?"

"I do not know anymore."

The Ambassador looks thoughtful. "Unfortunately, that is an answer I am uniquely unqualified to help you find. However, your calculation was incorrect."

Spock looks up. "I do not understand."

"You have not accounted for Jim's remarkable ability to cheat death." His eyes soften slightly. "Some things never change, Spock. Wherever there is one of us, so the other must be. You are each other's answer."

"I do not understand."

"But you will."


End file.
